If I had to pick one subject that’s emblematic of STFU, Parents, it would probably be mommyjacking. Nothing makes a person want to shatter a windshield more than a good mommyjacking round-up, especially when the examples surround people who are childfree. We’ve examined this phenomenon before with posts like "Have a Kid!" and "Wait ‘Til You Have Kids," yet parents continue to bully, patronize, and generally annoy the living shit out of their “friends” by making weird parenting-related comments at the dumbest and/or worst of times.
This much is clear not just in my inbox, but on newsstands, too. Take a look at the TIME magazine cover story "The Childfree Life," which inspired a lot of conversation online as well as my new Mommyish column and this post. The media will never stop comparing childfree/childless people and parents — something I can personally attest to — even though the subject is suuuper boring, and it’s still as irritating as ever (if not more so) when parents condescend to their friends just for not having kids. What’s the point? Can’t we all just get along?? Let’s check out some more examples of parents mommyjacking their selfish, clueless, and unimpressive non-parent friends:
1. Congratulations, You Don’t Know Shit
It’s taken a few years, but Zoey’s comment might trump this mommyjacking in its display of earnest assholishness, which is a real feat. Congratulations on being the yin to Kara’s yang, Zoey. The world stays balanced because of people like you.
Adrienne’s cryptic-sounding status update isn’t so cryptic to her Facebook friends, who know she’s been working toward becoming a nurse for some time now. That said, becoming a nurse can’t really compare to becoming a mom, PLUS nurses get paid! What kind of BS is that? Pay nurses for knowing how to treat a stab wound to the trachea, but don’t pay moms for doing almost the exact same thing? That’s called discrimination.