Mom’s Gold Star

I received several funny Gold Star submissions this week, but this one made me laugh the most. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, or just a terribly boring person (?), but it did. And so it shall win the coveted Gold Star. Simplicity gets me every time, especially at the end of a busy week.

Forget about reading too much into it, or taking offense to the fact that this guy Jon is essentially admitting to being a card-carrying shooter and baby season alumnus. No, I will just laugh at his joke and wonder why I hadn’t thought of it myself. It also doesn’t hurt that “baby photo shoots” often lead to stuff like this, which instantly takes Jon’s comment from “lol” to “rubbing-one’s-hands-together-while-laughing-maniacally-in-evil-glee.” So congrats, Jon! Good one.

Oh, and speaking of “baby shoots,” I happened to notice the below exchange on the Target Baby Facebook page the day all the drama went down with Doula Kiera. Someone please explain to me again why people try so hard to get their kids into modeling?

Renae, stop grunting and just put the kid on YouTube. If he eats a squirrel, says crazy shit after a trip to the dentist or cries a lot about Justin Bieber, you’ll have a little star on your hands. And then who calls the modeling shots, huh?! Trust me.

(submitted by Anonymous)

I don’t really understand who these people are or where they come from*, but they’re out there in full force, walking among us, raising the children of tomorrow. This much I know. 

Y. seems to be having some back problems, possibly related to pregnancy, but also not related to pregnancy at all. I mean, really, what do her friends know? Maybe Y. got a sore back from carrying something heavy. Maybe she pulled a muscle while playing a particularly strenuous game of doubles tennis. Maybe she’s getting her period. Or, according to B., M., and T., maybe Y. is just pregnant. Except that she’s “not even” pregnant, lol, not even a little bit pregnant, like twelve percent pregnant, so they’re wrong! Y. not dumb! Plus thing called strong PILL!!!! 

Whew. Glad that’s settled.

This week on Mommyish, I wrote about 3 Baby Shower Dos and Don’ts on Facebook. There’s one ‘note’ submission that’s so insanely long and boring, you might just want to tuck yourself in before reading it as a bedtime story. Head over now and enjoy the tips, one of which is “Don’t serve a creepy cake.” The cake you see above isn’t very creepy, especially compared to the Cake Wrecks-esque cake in my column, but it is still kind of weird. While I can’t hate on an A-for-Effort DIY, I have to wonder how many times Emilie paused to ask herself why she was making a pregnancy test cake as she wrote the words “Clear Blue” in icing. 11? 12? The same number of guests who asked if she peed on it before serving it? I call weird cakes fonDON’Ts for a reason.

On an unrelated note, I did a little Q&A about my life as a blogger right here. Learn some (more) stuff about me! Read my ramblings. (Fun fact: *I* don’t have health coverage, but for $50/month, my cats do. Yay, America!) 

Related: The Poopy Diaper Game, Welcome Baby Liam, Baby Fundraiser