Mother’s Day ‘11 - Lessons In Motherhood Edition
Sorry for the delay, folks! Tumblr’s had some technical issues that prevented me from putting up this most momentous post o’ ‘jackings. But now that it’s back up, let’s get the party started!
Today’s MommyJacking Marathon is all about Lessons In Motherhood. For instance, do YOU know what women should buy for themselves once they become mothers?
If you answered “nothing”, good job! You’re absolutely right. Being a mother means you can never, ever buy anything for yourself ever again. (Few exceptions to this rule include buying aprons, sewing kits, sponges and curling irons, which are totally acceptable.)
The next lesson comes in the form of a hilarious joke. Here goes: What do circus performers and moms have in common? (No, it’s not lion taming, although kids can act like little animals sometimes. Good guess, though!)
JUGGLING! Surprised? You shouldn’t be! Moms are the most effective multi-taskers on the planet! Did you know the average mom is capable of roasting a chicken, changing a diaper and writing a third grader’s book report all at the same time? It’s true!
But all kidding aside, did you know moms are also certified medical practitioners? This is a little-known fact, but the truth is, once a woman has a baby she’s instantly capable of diagnosing - and treating - all kinds of illnesses and diseases. That’s why moms also go by the more formal, respectable title, “Dr. Mom”!!
Another lesson in motherhood you may be unaware of is that some people consider moms to be superheroes, or Super Moms. Why? Well, it’s because they’re better than you. (“You” meaning a person who isn’t a mom. If you ARE a mom, then you know what I’m talking about.)
While the average person might feel sluggish at work after getting very little sleep, a mom has the ability to power through her sleepiness and laugh at others in the process! It’s a special superpower!
Seriously. You think I’m making this up? You don’t KNOW tired until you’re a mother. And moms - not to mention dads! - will remind you of that nagging parental detail every chance they get.
At the end of the day, though, the most important lesson one can glean from motherhood is that mothers are performing the ultimate sacrifice. Not only in terms of a lack of sleep and new clothes, but in terms of pretty much everything.
See what I mean? Your excepted to just know! Toughest gig in the world.
Happy (it’s officially over) Mother’s Day, everyone!!
(submitted by Anonymous)