Every holiday, there’s a mention of poop on the blog. I don’t know WHY I wind up with so many poop submissions for nearly every holiday in existence, but some people just can’t get through one without discussing their child taking a crap, be it in the form of love, in celebratory colors, or in honor of old Saint Nick. Obviously, Father’s Day is no exception, so here are this year’s contenders for the Father’s Day Potty Round-Up!
PS: There’s a tease & reveal at the end of the post, and it has nothing to do with Father’s Day except ZOMG, I feel bad for the dude in the picture. Real bad.
Hahahaha, kids pooping in the bath. It’s a rite of passage, both for kids and parents! Especially dads! P. has a good sense of humor, but just because he makes a silly joke playing off duty / doody doesn’t mean he’s earned a Gold Star from me. I also think people may want to retire that joke about rubbing their kids’ noses in poop accidents like they’re dogs. That was funny back in 2010, dudes. I mean HONESTLY.
John is achieving his ultimate goal (I can only imagine what’s got to be his TIPPY TOP goal) of being featured on this site, which is my gift to him and also my humble way of saying, “Happy Father’s Day, John! Now STFU.”
If there’s one thing I don’t need to know it’s that your kid went both #1 and #2 on the potty. If you want to toe the line and mention that your kid used the potty for the first time, great. I’ll send you a plaque that says, “He Poops, He Scores!” for you to hang above the toilet or perhaps in your office or home gym. But if you specify the two accomplishments separately, you start to lose me. It’d be like if after I used the bathroom I explained to my boyfriend, “Well, first I peed, which was so relieving. But then I went #2, and boy, was THAT exciting!” I know that to parents, this logic doesn’t make any sense. “But you’re a 30-year-old woman,” parents might argue. “Of course you wouldn’t spell out what you did in the bathroom to your boyfriend.” And that may be true, but my point is this: If it would be weird for me to tell my boyfriend - and ONLY my boyfriend - that level of specificity about my bathroom behavior, then I’m pretty sure it’s equally as weird for parents to tell their entire Facebook page the same information about their kids.
But really, though, thanks for playing, John.
*Bonus Tease & Reveal*
Hmmm, what could Kathryn have posted?! I’ll give you three guesses, plus this hint.
Yeahhh, see I thought when people took “bribery pictures” of their partner they weren’t actually supposed to publish them for the world to see. Did Kathryn not pick up on that part? What a crappy way to embarrass her husband on Facebook. Happy Father’s Day, indeed. (Although I guess he does have a nice pair of legs.) Go dads!
(submitted by Anonymous)