Angry Parents

Of all the signs that civilization is moving in the wrong direction, parents using their children’s poop as a weapon might just be the surest. I don’t care who you are or why you’re wielding shit to prove a point — as far as I’m concerned, you’re fucking crazy. No one should be “punished” with excrement, in any way, ever, but if you’re going to “ding dong ditch” a person (and you’re over the age of twelve), you better have a REALLY good reason, and I don’t mean, “A stranger looked like a retard and hugged the line of a parking space.” 

I honestly can’t imagine the reaction that dude is going to have when he opens up his toolbox and discovers rancid feces deposited by a psychotic mother inside. He might throw up. Or maybe that’s just what I would do, right before trying to determine who the hell would go through with such a smelly act of revenge. I mean, I’ve never even thought about leaving a pile of crap in someone’s toolbox, but if I did, it would be a passing thought, not a calculated one. I certainly wouldn’t be so impressed with myself that I felt the need to brag about it on Facebook. But then, I’m not in the habit of patting myself on the back for screwing up someone else’s day.

Hey Kristen, I don’t know if you realize it, but you sound like a HUGE ASSHOLE when you write in ALL CAPS that IT SERVES A PERSON RIGHT when s/he crashes on a bike in front of you and you do nothing at all to help. No one really cares whether or not you have “a problem” with motorcycles; the fact of the matter is that you’re a terrible person. On the highway of life, there are many lessons to be learned. It seems that you have yet to learn many of them. 

Related: More Angry Parents

PS: Today marks the one-year anniversary of the death of Osama bin Laden. Commemorate by reading last year’s ridiculous posts: IIIIIIIVVVIVIIVIII

(submitted by Anonymous)

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