Wow, we haven’t seen a smackdown like this on the blog in a while! Kiera’s friends remind me of Stephanie’s friends in last week’s Mommyish column, or maybe Noël’s friends from back in the day. It’s like a chorus of STFU ringing out o’er the land Facebook. And while I’d like to say it has nothing to do with the fact that Kiera addresses herself as ‘Doula Kiera,’ a small part of me can’t help but wonder if this is the moment that her friends finally snapped after months, maybe years, of hearing Kiera’s incessant gripes about lead exposure and choking hazards. 

But that hypothetical analysis aside, Kiera *is* being pretty ridiculous in this thread. Ads are marketing vehicles, not tutorials. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at an ad for tampons and thought to myself, “But wait, how do they work?”, or watched a commercial for Pillow Pets and shouted, “BUT THAT CHILD LOOKS YOUNGER THAN THREE!” I certainly don’t care enough to take a big box retail store to task on my Facebook page. But then again, I haven’t assigned myself a job title in my profile name. I suppose if I went by ‘Shit Talker B.’ I could probably get away with complaining about more stuff. Maybe I’ll try that and get back to you guys. I’ll start by saying, “Dear Friends: Did you know that in your recent updates several of you implied that it wasn’t cold enough to warrant both a hat and gloves, and yet when I stepped outside IT WAS? Totally unacceptable and inaccurate! If you’re going to post about the weather, DO NOT mislead people! Most people are not reporting on the wind chill factor properly, and this is reinforcing my inability to get dressed and stay warm!!!!!” 

(submitted by Anonymous)

**UPDATE** As with many submissions posted on the blog, more has “developed” with this story since this post went up. Allow me to recap:

• I initially received this submission from a submitter who did not confirm or deny actually knowing Doula Kiera. The submitter’s words were, “I don’t get how she can’t connect this with every other stock photo fail she ever saw pre-kid. I cannot relate in the slightest to how she thinks it’s Target’s responsibility to slap a manual of information on car seat safety next to any advertisement. Anyway, rant over. At least, this is one submission that doesn’t contain bodily fluids.” [ed. note: Good point!]
• After an internal debate, I decided I was crazy to think this was posted on Target’s wall because it seemed more plausible to me that Kiera’s friends would speak up in this manner than random strangers on the Target page.
• Alas, I was wrong, and this was a message Doula Kiera posted to the Target page, and those are indeed strangers in the comments. (God love ‘em.)
• The reason I know this is because some people investigated and found the thread on the Target page, also letting Kiera know about this blog post. That’s the internet for ya.
• Upon reading this breaking news, you may now be asking yourself, “Do I still agree with this post? She was simply trying to let Target know about something that she’s clearly passionate about. The baby in the car seat was NOT properly strapped in, after all.” And that’s all well and good, if you believe that ads are meant to be accurate representations of safety instead of gimmicky marketing devices. 
• Either way, here is the ad in question.
• The end! 
• I’m now off to sue the manufacturer of my mascara because the girl in the picture didn’t have clumpy eyelashes and THE AD SAID THERE WAS NO CLUMPING! LIARS!!!!!!