Sanctimommy: Their Learning! Edition

Not all but MOST old people should back the F up. Why? Well, it’s simple, really: Elderly people are grumpy old assholes who think that when they leave the house no one else should be in any of the places they go! Not dogs, not moms, and certainly not children because children are so goddamn loud. Have kids today never heard of hearing aids? Do they not understand how those things work?! Ughhhhh, old people should just get over themselves already. 

*Ahem*

The truth is, we’re all going to be old one day, and being old comes with its share of grievances. Sure, some older people are bitter or mean, but so are some kids. So are some people. You don’t have to be over the age of 65 to be a jerk; it’s just that older folks have lived long enough to feel comfortable saying whatever’s on their mind, and they don’t restrict voicing their (occasionally judgmental) thoughts to adults only. 

The irony of this being, of course, that so many parents complain about ageism, which is what my column on Mommyish is about this week. There’s a strange dichotomy between parents bitching about people not treating their babies with respect and parents bitching about old people being a waste of space. And somehow I’ve received enough submissions to prove that this is a thing that exists, so I figured what better place to expose my findings than on Mommyish?!

It’s actually one of my favorite columns so far, so please do go check it out. I promise you won’t regret it (but I also promise you’ll feel a little stabby afterwards, so try not to read the column in a contained space like an airplane or a bus, or with a weapon in your hand, kthx). 

(submitted by Anonymous)