Are you pregnant? Do you have kids? If not, here’s a little tip: I’M NOT LISTENING.
What’s that? You’re tired? Why, because you went out last night and had cocktails with your non-parent girlfriends and then had to get up for work the next day? BOO HOO. Guess what I was doing? CHANGING DIAPERS. Have you ever heard the word ‘teething’? Do you even have the faintest freaking clue what that means?
Let me give you a little summary of the conversation you and I are REALLY having in my head whenever you’re blabbing about being “busy”:
You: Wow, I’ve been busy.
Me: LOL YEAH. Sure you have.
You: Ugh, I have a guest in town, plus I’m doing the job of 2 people at work since they laid off my co-worker. I’m exhausted!
Me: *makes sad face*. Who does this chick thinks she’s talking to? Does she realize a mom performs like 900 different jobs an HOUR??
You: I cannot WAIT until the weekend.
Me: You would say that, wouldn’t you? Do you realize that when you’re a mom you no longer get to play hooky from your responsibilites on Saturdays? GUESS NOT! Way to rub it in my face. God, I hate my non-parent friends.
(submitted by Anonymous - who else?!)