Several days ago I posted the very first STFUP ‘Tease & Reveal’-formatted post in honor of Fright Fest, and since it got such a good response I’ve decided to try posting a few more. Typically, I attach chopped-up screen caps that I receive with a photo editor to make them one long submission, but hey, let’s face it, if the submission involves a disgusting photo, it’s probably not the world’s worst thing to keep the picture after the jump and post the text upfront instead.
I just said that I was going to flip out if parents started ruining kitchen utensils along with food, SO LET THIS BE A SECOND WARNING to all the Peters out there. I am not fucking around. I LIKE colanders and tongs and mandolins and slotted spoons and I cannot handle associating these items with human crap. THANKS.
Utensils aside, I’ve got some unfortunate news. It appears that I’ll be sending Poop Pirate out to sea after receiving an email from its original poster, me lass Nicky, who requested its removal. As you all know, I take down posts when a poster requests its removal not only because I don’t feel like arguing about it, but also because Tumblr doesn’t feel like arguing about it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel sad flushing perfectly good posts down the toilet, because hello, who didn’t fall in love a little with Poop Pirate? I know I did, and I won’t deny being chafed about it. But tomorrow, he sets sail to Fiddler’s Green.
With that in mind, I shall continue on with the “reveal” portion of this post. Since there will never be another Poop Pirate AKA ‘sausage’, I’ve decided to doll up this “Soph turd” (exclamation point) a little differently. Let’s call her The Booze Cruiser:
Aren’t you glad you already know the answer to Peter’s question? What a relief, right? That he used his hand? Problem solved, case closed! I sure hope he knows how to sanitize the tub. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out!
Related: Fiber Challenge
(submitted by Anonymous)