December 2011
38 posts
1 tag
2011 End-of-Year Listicle // Year-in-Review
Here she is, everyone. My “baby.” For the third year running, I’ve compiled a list of the funniest, grossest and most confusing posts of the year. And oh, what a year it was. 2011 was so packed with wonders and delights that the “Year-in-Review” portion is triple the crazy of last year’s, with a...
1 tag
1 tag
Tease & Reveal - Snot Edition
Remember when I referenced the snot submissions I’ve been receiving now that cold & flu season is at its peak? Well, after nearly three years, I can say with 100% assuredness that this is the most disgusting snot submission I’ve ever received (and that includes the post that likened boogers to cream cheese and the post with the snot dangling in the breeze.) This submission is so...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
Merry Crapmas
For whatever reason, every Christmas I receive several submissions that connect the holidays with poop (metaphorically speaking). Thankfully this year none of those submissions involve photographic evidence of the poop, but still the connection cannot be denied. After receiving my fourth holiday/poop submission, I figured I may as well group them together and post a Christmas Craptacular....
1 tag
Christmas With The Fetuses!
Merry Christmas from babies! Unborn babies who have technically been born since these sonograms were posted on Facebook last year.
Speaking as a person who enjoys decorating things like this with clip art, I’m not totally confused as to why someone would want to “doll up” their fetus for Christmas. It’s a special time! And Picnik has so many Christmas icons and options!...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
The 2011 Gift Guide
From late November straight through the month of December, the internet is saturated with gift guides. Everyone has a gift guide. “Gifts for your boss!” “Great gifts for that relative you can’t stand!” “Top 25 gifts for your neurotic pet squirrel!” So this year I figured, hey, why not create my own? I get tons of submissions that have gift potential! Like...
1 tag
1 tag
Holiday Countdown: Day 5 - Adventures With The Elf...
A few weeks ago, I received my first Elf on the Shelf submission. Having no idea WTF that was, I did a cursory search to find out the absolute minimum amount of information I needed to know about this small wooden toy in order to get through the holidays on the blog. It’s not that I have a problem with small wooden toys, or elves, or anything Christmas-related so much as I have a hard time...
1 tag
For The Record, Washing Your Baby In a Public...
Last Friday I posted a submission about a woman who was astonished and perturbed that strangers didn’t help her as she struggled to wash/clean up her poop-covered child in a Walmart sink. There were multiple layers to that post - if I had to count I could probably come up with like 30 - but the overarching point I wanted to make was this: It’s not okay to bathe your child in the sink...
1 tag
A Few Thoughts On Hanukkah
Holiday Countdown - Day 6: CHRISTMAS Hanukkah Edition
If I’m being honest, I have to admit that as a non-practicing-but-bat-mitzvah’ed-Jew-from-the-South, I take offense to any stupid chain status that’s ALL ABOUT CHRISTMAS BEING THE BEST THING IN THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ WORLD. But I especially take offense when that chain status includes an incorrect spelling of the word...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
Woe Is Mom: Selfish People Edition
OK, so let me get this straight: If I’m shopping at Walmart, a retail destination that should be renamed Hell On Earth-Mart, and I take a break from my Christmas shopping to use the facilities there, where I basically assume that everything I’m touching is already covered in “America’s bacteria,” I’m supposed to notice a...
1 tag
1 tag
People Talking To Themselves
The “trend” (if you can call it that) of parents talking to themselves on Facebook has been well-documented on this blog. It all started when my brain exploded with this post. I was like, “Wow, people do this? But that’s….crazy.” Then we met the mom who publicly scolded herself, the mom who discussed baking cookies with her three-month-old, and the mom mommie...
1 tag
Twelve Days of Christmas: Holiday Countdown!
Holiday Countdown: Day 12 11
Technically Christmastide begins on Christmas Day and ends on January 5th, but I was raised Jewish so what do I know? I’ve always assumed the Twelve Days of Christmas were the twelve days leading up to Christmas, and because that’s what Walmart commercials have led me to believe, I’m just going to run with that concept. Beginning today, which...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
Kids In The Community UPDATE!
If you’ve been reading this blog for more than three months, you no doubt remember Alanna, AKA the number one proponent of making sure everyone understands that kids are an extension of their parents and thus, the community. In other words, don’t shirk on your responsibilities, public. Don’t hold events that children might attend and not acknowledge their presence by making some...
1 tag
1 tag
The Future of Baby Names
With baby name lists circulating all over the internet this week as we draw near to the end of 2011 (Best Baby Names! Popular Baby Names! Trendy Baby Names! etc.), I thought it would be fun to take another look at the names people are giving their kids these days. But more than that, to consider the obsession some parents have with choosing the perfect yoonique name and ensuring that their child...
1 tag
1 tag
HolidayJacking: Pearl Harbor Edition
Every year on holidays that commemorate something related to veterans (Veteran’s Day, D-Day, etc.), some jackass comes up with essentially the exact same joke that some other jackass came up with the year before. Oftentimes, diapers are involved. Because equating a “massive bomb” in a diaper is entirely comparable - not to mention hilarious - to an actual bomb explosion that...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
"It's Official"
Normally I don’t post submissions the second I get them because I already have plenty of content waiting in a queue. It seems “unfair” to the other submissions, and unlike a toddler who desperately needs to use the bathroom, those new submissions can wait. Except for this one.
First, allow me to say mazel tov to Kelley and Greg. YAY, y’all made a doctor-approved baby, so...
1 tag
1 tag
MommyJacking Marathon
For this week’s column on Mommyish, I revisit the infuriating and complex art of mommyjacking. As regular readers know, mommyjackings can occur at any time and for any reason (or for no reason at all!). Drive-bys have become rather commonplace, with mommyjackers assaulting their friends’ walls when they least expect it all over Facebook. It’s a full-on epidemic. Like I said on...