Typically I stay away from animal-related submissions due to the Antifreeze Salad Incident of 2010, but today’s were too absurd not to post. I got these submissions back-to-back and was amused that all these women honestly manage to take themselves so seriously. Like Kathleen, who has a few thoughts for the ASPCA:
Yeah, SCREW YOU ASPCA and your stupid, heartbreaking commercials! Screw you, Sarah Mclachlan, and your never-ending song about the arms of the angels! And to all the sad little puppies and kitties - forget you guys, too! You gave Kathleen’s little girl nightmares and now she has to watch 'All Dogs Go to Heaven' on repeat for a week straight. So, thanks ASPCA for running depressing commercials that showcase the realities of animal abuse and neglect! THANKS A LOT.
Then we’ve got Susan and Michelle, whose absolute intolerance of birds is nearly Draconian. How is any child supposed to sleep through that racket?!
I love Shannon’s desperate pleas for rationality. I can practically hear her saying, “Susie. They’re BIRDS. BIRDS, Susie! They CHIRP! HELLOOO?? Logic? Reason? The world isn’t going to stop
chirping turning for your baby. They’re BIRDS!”
Nice try, Shannon, but you’re dealing with two crazy ladies whose biggest problem in life is birds singing outside their window. Tomorrow they’ll probably complain about the ice cream man. Such injustice!
(submitted by Anonymous)