Woe Is Mom: Animals Edition

Typically I stay away from animal-related submissions due to the Antifreeze Salad Incident of 2010, but today’s were too absurd not to post. I got these submissions back-to-back and was amused that all these women honestly manage to take themselves so seriously. Like Kathleen, who has a few thoughts for the ASPCA:

Yeah, SCREW YOU ASPCA and your stupid, heartbreaking commercials! Screw you, Sarah Mclachlan, and your never-ending song about the arms of the angels! And to all the sad little puppies and kitties - forget you guys, too! You gave Kathleen’s little girl nightmares and now she has to watch 'All Dogs Go to Heaven' on repeat for a week straight. So, thanks ASPCA for running depressing commercials that showcase the realities of animal abuse and neglect! THANKS A LOT.

*ahem*

Then we’ve got Susan and Michelle, whose absolute intolerance of birds is nearly Draconian. How is any child supposed to sleep through that racket?! 

I love Shannon’s desperate pleas for rationality. I can practically hear her saying, “Susie. They’re BIRDS. BIRDS, Susie! They CHIRP! HELLOOO?? Logic? Reason? The world isn’t going to stop chirping turning for your baby. They’re BIRDS!”

Nice try, Shannon, but you’re dealing with two crazy ladies whose biggest problem in life is birds singing outside their window. Tomorrow they’ll probably complain about the ice cream man. Such injustice!

(submitted by Anonymous)

Related Posts Plugin
Woe Is Mom
Whooaaa, you guys. I’m SO sorry I haven’t updated in a minute. Totally not my intention when I posted that scary tonsils submission AKA the submission most likely to become a movie poster for a Troma film. Forgive me?!
To make it up to you, I’ve posted the above palate cleanser. I like this submission because by the end, Red looks not-so-bad. It takes balls to admit when you’re wrong, especially on Facebook, and I respect the way she changes her tune. She admits to being a tired mom who didn’t consider the other side of the situation. And while I’m not awarding her a Gold Star - because let’s face it, that initial update was kind of CRAZY - she gets a pass from me for being human.
However, Pink’s “humor” (?) is completely lost on me. Pink does not get a pass. I’ve read her comment approximately 12 times and I’m still not convinced she’s just joking. If anyone’s a brightly-smiling ASShole in this thread, it’s probably her.
Related: If you haven’t read this HILARIOUS post by my Twitter pal Jen, do yourself a favor and read it now!!
(submitted by Anonymous)

Woe Is Mom

Whooaaa, you guys. I’m SO sorry I haven’t updated in a minute. Totally not my intention when I posted that scary tonsils submission AKA the submission most likely to become a movie poster for a Troma film. Forgive me?!

To make it up to you, I’ve posted the above palate cleanser. I like this submission because by the end, Red looks not-so-bad. It takes balls to admit when you’re wrong, especially on Facebook, and I respect the way she changes her tune. She admits to being a tired mom who didn’t consider the other side of the situation. And while I’m not awarding her a Gold Star - because let’s face it, that initial update was kind of CRAZY - she gets a pass from me for being human.

However, Pink’s “humor” (?) is completely lost on me. Pink does not get a pass. I’ve read her comment approximately 12 times and I’m still not convinced she’s just joking. If anyone’s a brightly-smiling ASShole in this thread, it’s probably her.

Related: If you haven’t read this HILARIOUS post by my Twitter pal Jen, do yourself a favor and read it now!!

(submitted by Anonymous)

Related Posts Plugin
Our Kids Are Awesome // Woe Is Mom
Remember Amanda from the S-M-A-R-T post last week? Well, it turns out she isn’t thrilled about being featured on the blog, so she’s nicely asked that I remove the post (which I’ll be doing later this evening — check it while you can!). In the meantime, I figured why not replace that post with another submission from the “My Kid Is Awesome” folder?? Seriously, you guys have no idea how many smart kids there are out there. LOTS.
This time around we have to take the parents at their word that their kids are “freakishly” smart. No specific examples are cited to prove their kids’ intelligence such as “OFF” or “DOO TOO”, but I am majorly feeling the emotional severity of Nicole, Alexandra and Magen’s comments. Therefore, their kids MUST be smart! Otherwise why would they be so tormented by all the incessant praise? It’s clear that because Odin*, Lucas and Morgan are so smart, they have massive egos and no friends. That’s just what happens when you’re born into the world with good genes. It’s a blessing, but it’s tough to be marginalized. 
*Yes. His name is Odin.

(submitted by Anonymous)

Our Kids Are Awesome // Woe Is Mom

Remember Amanda from the S-M-A-R-T post last week? Well, it turns out she isn’t thrilled about being featured on the blog, so she’s nicely asked that I remove the post (which I’ll be doing later this evening — check it while you can!). In the meantime, I figured why not replace that post with another submission from the “My Kid Is Awesome” folder?? Seriously, you guys have no idea how many smart kids there are out there. LOTS.

This time around we have to take the parents at their word that their kids are “freakishly” smart. No specific examples are cited to prove their kids’ intelligence such as “OFF” or “DOO TOO”, but I am majorly feeling the emotional severity of Nicole, Alexandra and Magen’s comments. Therefore, their kids MUST be smart! Otherwise why would they be so tormented by all the incessant praise? It’s clear that because Odin*, Lucas and Morgan are so smart, they have massive egos and no friends. That’s just what happens when you’re born into the world with good genes. It’s a blessing, but it’s tough to be marginalized. 

*Yes. His name is Odin.

(submitted by Anonymous)

Related Posts Plugin