Since I’ve been focusing so much time on the “STFU, Parents” book lately, I’ve had reading on the brain. It got me thinking about the great Mom’s Gold Star submissions that I’ve received about reading and writing, and how I don’t really do enough to promote those things on the blog. I spend plenty of time talking about poor spelling and making fun of language butchery and yoonique names, but what about the good submissions I receive?
This picture couldn’t be funnier if it was staged. And frankly, I wouldn’t care if it was. Something about watching kids “play” with books before they can even read them warms my heart. Whether they’re chewing on them, shitting on them, or sleeping with them, you get the impression that those are the kids who are going to appreciate reading and writing when they’re older.
Considering my mother taught English for close to 30 years, “rough giraffe” may be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Move over, “Porn Gravy.” There’s some new made-up terminology in town, and it sounds like this.
Last but not least, let’s take the blog full-circle, shall we? A little over four years ago, my real life friend Leigh helped to inspire this blog and wound up being the first screenshot I ever posted (and without commentary! Clearly I had no blogging direction whatsoever.) Leigh’s is the only post from my personal friends list on the blog that’s not in the Gold Star category, and while it would never make the cut today, I’ll always think of it fondly. Anyway, a few months ago, she posted this on Facebook:
I’m not just saying this because she’s my friend, but that was a brave stunt that Leigh pulled. She swooped in like some kind of Reading Superhero that appears when the “bad guys” stand in the way of children reading. When I read her status update I was like, “Oh, damn,” because I’m not sure I’d have had the balls to do the same thing.
So kudos, Leigh! Thanks for being a “reading activist” and showing that mother what an asshole she was being (even though she probably didn’t realize it at all and just thinks you’re an elitist bookworm). Congrats to Gretchen and Leah on their Gold Stars, too! Funny jokes about books are always welcome around these parts.
Related: The Giving Tree
(submitted by Anonymous)