Last week on Mommyish, my back-to-school column was more cheerful than usual. In past years, I’ve highlighted sanctimommies and mommyjackers (as well as noting the ridiculousness of locker chandeliers and bitches who complain about "buying school supplies for children whose parents are on welfare"), but this year I toasted to the new academic year with Gold Star-worthy parents who are supremely excited that school is finally back in session.
So in that spirit, this post is a back-to-school celebration of kids’ drawings and schoolwork. We’ve been charmed before by the likes of Swingy Dong and Jetpack Banana Thrower Dong, and we were impressed with Porn Gravy, but this post is a veritable gallery of self-expression. The following kids have a real future ahead of them. Doing what, I don’t know, but I enjoy their work.
1. Caillou Coloring Book
Remember that Caillou post I put up a while back? Parents were pissed off that old episodes of the kids show Caillou were being billed as “new,” especially since the earlier seasons of the show were so whiny and annoying? Well, now we have confirmation that at least one kid feels the same way:
This kid is like the Banksy of the coloring book scene. I don’t think *Pink should bother disciplining him. When something sucks, it sucks. He’s early to question authority, so she must be raising him right. I would absolutely consider hanging this work of art in my home.
2. The Little Merman
This drawing is clearly an exploration of Disney and gender. Jason and Jenna’s daughter has a gift for bringing this important issue to the surface with her simple and childlike art. By drawing Ariel’s tail to look like a massive penis, this piece screams “non-comformity” while sending a strong message to Disney executives that children will not be manipulated by heteronormative cartoons. No, they will not.