This week’s column on Mommyish deals with one of my favorite topics: Crazy Baby Names. In the column I show several examples of crazy name submissions that I’ve received. But unsurprisingly I still had several MORE examples left in my files, because goddammit, people just love giving their kids crazy names these days.

So today I figured I’d share some of those leftover submissions with you guys, because who doesn’t like a little WTF with their Wednesday? Here are some of my favorite types of “yoonique” name submissions:

1. The “Classic” Unique Name

I don’t care what anyone says. As far as I’m concerned, BabyLand is a general hospital where one can adopt Cabbage Patch Kids. None of whom are named Soren Galaxy Sailor. (And yes, I owned this record in 1985.)

2. The “Yoonique Spelling” Name

"Riley Nicole" would have been way too boring. But now that her mom has given her a yooniquely spelled name, Baby Rylee Nycol will be known for so much more! Also, my favorite part of this submission is Meredith’s comment.

3. The Bitchy Name Snob

Look, we can argue all day long about how a name “should be” pronounced, but the fact is, different regions pronounce names differently. If you don’t want people to confuse your preferred pronunciation of your baby’s name, give her a name that can’t be altered, like Jennifer. Otherwise, STFU. 

4. The Moron

Thank god for Lesley, who really does deserve a Gold Star for her contribution. It’s hard to believe that the Nevaeh/Heaven name trend has already come full-circle, but apparently it has. When spelling a name/word backwards starts to become “unoriginal,” you know we’ve got major problems. Or, smelborp. 

5. The Worst Name Idea In BabyLand The World

This is the first time on the blog that I’ve ever cropped out a first name and left the last name exposed. But considering the circumstances, I’m sure you can see why. Seriously, what. the. hell. is P. thinking?! Just because a baby *might* be born on a date with significant singularity doesn’t mean her entire name should reflect that singularity. Think, people. THINK. Who’s gonna vote for Hailey Haylee Haley for president? Not me.

To read more about the unexplainable, yet always amusing, crazy baby name phenomenon, head on over to Mommyish! You won’t regret it. 

(submitted by Anonymous)

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