Are you seeing what I’m seeing??? YES, YOU ARE. Shannon, who came up with the idea for the Selfish Bitchcake nearly two years ago, just whipped up this tasty delight in homage to the old layout and in celebration of the new one! Is it not deliciously amazing?! (It is.)
The best part of this Bitchcake is that after I JOKINGLY suggested that Shannon “make another bitchcake” on the Facebook Page, she actually went and did it! Like that day. Within hours of my joke, she’d baked this beauty, taken photos and sent me a hilarious explanation of its various ingredients and decorations! I could never do her explanation justice, so I’ll just copy what she said about it after the break:
"It has a mind/eye bending color scheme complete with stripes in homage to the Disqus site. The cake itself is a gluten-free vegan loaf cake for all those posts about Nevaeh, Shanaenae, and Quybjin’s (pronounced Kevin) special diet and their happy bowels. The raspberries are organic fruit and the cake only get 8 of them. You could relate those back to the ever popular use of "crotch fruit" in the comment sections.
The icing is standard, sugar, dairy, and baby animal filled canned icing because, dammit, that’s what I want and no vegan is going to tell me otherwise! I also gave up on trying to get the blue icing flat because that stupid vegan/gluten free cake is crumbly as hell. (Again, selfishness on my part.)
There is a conspicuous lack of unicorns because I wouldn’t want to get berated by the moms who refuse to tell their kids there is a santa or Easter bunny or unicorns because how could anyone possibly lie to such an innocent soul who knows no evil and poops glitter (OMG, I just hurt myself typing that).
The “selfish” is in my horrible cursive. Had facebook been around when I was learning cursive, my mom probably would have posted something along the lines of, “My daughter should be learning math and science in school and not having stupid cursive drills over and over. Her writing sucks so deal with it, teacher!” I do have to say that I’m proud of myself for actually writing the word in reverse from back to front just so i didn’t drag my hand through the icing.
And, finally, there is a big ol’ STFU on the side because sometimes it just needs to be said.”
I think we can all agree this is truly a work of art, not to mention perfect timing because after the site relaunch I’m staaarving and want to celebrate! Thank you, Shannon! Your Selfish Bitchcake is beyond compare.