Wow, Christine. You went from TMI, to confused punctuation, to WTMI (Wayyyy Too Much Information). Brava! And good job filling in the blanks in that last comment. I was very much wondering A) how big the urine spot was, and B) exactly how long it took to blow dry by hand. Now that I know the answers to those questions, I officially think you’ve made a Giant Facebook Mistake.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been MANY times that a little voice inside my head said don’t look back, you can never look back ”B., now would be a good time to stop talking.” and I just keep on yammering. But thankfully, most of those occasions tend to be in person so I only embarrass myself in front of 2-5 people. Christine’s WTMI problem is visible by everyone she knows on Facebook, including friends who I’ve no doubt were thinking, “Girl. No. It’s been 12 hours and you’re still talking about this pee spot? You could’ve changed your sheets like 1000 times by now!” 

Here’s a lil tip for the Christines of the world: If you’re telling a gross story, and the truth sounds bad, just LIE! No one needs to know that the pee spot was big enough to hypothetically fit a chicken thigh, a side of mashed potatoes and some asparagus. When you put it that way, there’s really no backing up your blow dryer argument. The proper response to Tara’s comment - regardless of truth - is “It only took 30 seconds.” No further explanation needed. Trust me.

Related: Poopy Sweater

(submitted by Anonymous)