STFUP Fables: The Apple That Turned Into a Tattoo

Ah, yes, the old story of the apple that turned into a tattoo. It’s as old as apples and tattoos themselves! You see, a long time ago, in a land far, far away called Louisiana, there was a woman named Mindy. And Mindy’s adorable little girl took a few bites from an apple, just as cute as they could be. Mindy glanced over at the apple’s tiny holes and thought, “Those bite marks represent everything I love about my daughter. They’re perfect in every way. I must never forget this moment or this apple.” 

Then, suddenly, a wave of what some say was delusion but what Mindy called a mother’s intuition came over her. Sure, apples rot; they get brown and moldy and they’re not good forever. Like people, they begin to shrivel up and assault the human senses as time goes by. But, what if things didn’t have to be that way? What if a moment could be captured forever? Like with a camera, or a painting? Or maybe with ink that’s etched into your skin? How timeless would that be??

Mindy had to make this dream a reality. After all, what are dreams for if you never bring them to life? She had a vision, and she acted on it with the determination of a mom. Just like her daughter bit into that apple with the vivacious zeal of a hungry toddler, Mindy took a bite out of life and scooted right over to her local tattoo parlor.

Well, you heard the woman. She couldn’t bear to part with this special fruit, so she got a picture of it tattooed on her ribs. Mindy and the fruit were destined to be together, and she recognized that from the moment her sweet little 2-year-old bit into that shiny red apple.

And if you’ve got a problem with Mindy’s choice to get a picture of an apple that her daughter ate tattooed on her body, then you should take that problem on down the road, friend. Because even if Mindy *is* acting a little obsessive, it’s a perfectly healthy obsession for her to have. Haha, get it? Because it’s an apple??? 

Okay, let’s check out this Red Delicious artwork to see how the story ends:

This may look like your average giant tattoo of an apple on the side of a woman’s body, but now that you know the story behind it, it’s magical, isn’t it? It’s a permanent reminder of the day Audrey ate that apple, and exactly what it looked like in the few hours before enzymatic browning took effect. If Mindy looks at it in the mirror for long enough, she might even remember what it tasted like (if she had a bite, too). There’s something really beautiful about that.

I look forward to seeing future tattoos of half-eaten Cheetos, granola bars, PB&Js, strawberry-banana smoothies, and - of course - cheddar cheese squares (a classic toddler favorite!). 

Related: Freaky Face Tattoos and Baby Feet Collage

(submitted by Anonymous(es) — Anonymi? Anons? Technically “anonymous” isn’t supposed to be used as a proper noun, so… Anyway, TWO people who do not know each other but who both know Mindy sent in this submission. Both submitters said the same things: 1. Mindy is a great mother and person, and 2. Why the hell did she get this chewed-up apple tattooed on her body?!)

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