Mom’s Gold Star

I enjoy this submission because it shows that Jen is willing to do whatever it takes to get her kids off her back. Mason wants to go to Burger King? Can’t, it’s on fire. How about a fun trip to the zoo? Ahh, unfortunately all of the animals died in a tragic stampede. Maybe a slice of pizza at Chuck E. Cheese? NOPE, that franchise has turned into a bunch of violence-prone bars. (OK, that one is mostly true.) It’s so easy to lie to children to get your way as an adult, why not take advantage of warping those precious minds before they start forming intelligent thought and conspire against you? 

Congrats on winning this week’s Gold Star, Jen! I only ask that you not reverse your decision to lie to your children. Lies help children grow up to be big and strong. That said, the next time the kids want to eat Burger King, just tell them that their dreams will be haunted by this guy. You won’t even really be lying. 

(submitted by Anonymous)

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