The STFU, Parents Book!

I’m very excited to announce that today is a clusterfuck of insanity. To anyone who’s happening upon this blog for the first time, hello and thanks for stopping by!

Since 2009, I’ve been writing this site anonymously, and at some point I decided there wasn’t really a reason to reveal who I am because it seemed so peripheral to the content. The blog isn’t about me; it’s about parents who overshare and say ridiculous things on social media. I wasn’t even sure how people would respond, or what the blog was going to be about. Namely, I had no idea how much crazy shit parents post about online. Over time, being anonymous stuck, and I got pretty comfortable with that. 

However, at some point it became clear to me that the many lessons we’ve learned here should be in book form. The mommyjacking, the woe is mom, the bathroom behavior, the sanctimommies — all of it. I got emails from nice people saying they use the blog as “a guide for what not to do.” Some people said, “I’ve been reading your blog since before I got married, and now I have a baby myself!” Others said, “I’m a mom of four, and I always ask myself, “WWSTFUPD?”” Not to mention the countless emails I’ve received from people around my age who are sick of reading about (and seeing) their friends’ kids’ poopy in the potty. Hearing all of that inspired me to work on a proposal, and now I’m so happy to finally say that STFU, Parents, the book, will officially come out on April 2nd, 2013 through Perigee books, a division of Penguin. 

The book is comprised of 30+ category chapters that encompass the world of parent overshare (hence the subtitle). There are more than 150 examples, and half of those are brand new material (at least 20% of which might make you feel nauseous). Of course, I couldn’t resist putting some of my favorite submissions in the book, which I won’t name here but regular readers will recognize with enthusiasm, no doubt. Mostly, the book is a funny encyclopedia of overshare that is literally filled with toilet humor (like the blog), and I really hope you guys will check it out! You can even pre-order it right now! This is something I’ve been waiting a long time to share, and I can’t believe the day is finally here.

dance girl 2 smiley    

This brings me to who I am (and some of you will see me on Ricki Lake later today, after which I will post video to the blog!). For the past few years, I’ve been known here as B., but now I can say, “Hello there! My name is Blair Koenig. It’s great to meet you.” Here is what I look like lounging on a fancy, old brownstone in my neighborhood in Brooklyn:

On Ricki Lake, I’m much more made-up and yapping, but this* is what I look like day-to-day. I’m sure for some of you, it’s weird to put a face to a name. To which I say, stick around and watch the video of me on Ricki Lake. That’ll be extra weird. 

If you’re at all interested in knowing more about me, you can go here and click through to a few essays I’ve written, including one about how much I hate to shower. Oh, the things you people can learn about me now! 

I’ll leave this (long) post at that and will return with a couple more posts about this hoopla later. Real quick, though, let me just take a minute to say thank you to everyone who comes here to be entertained, or to comment, or just to see what this crudely-titled blog is all about. Thank you so much to the submitters, who can rest assured that no photo submissions will be published in the book (and trust me, it’s better this way - I cannot in good faith publish some random kid’s crap in paperback). And to all the awesome commenters, many of whom I feel like I’ve gotten to know over the years, this is how I feel about you guys (minus the chest-bumping):

Finally, I just want to say thank fucking god this book is written, because now I can turn things up a notch on the blog! I’ve got big plans for the near future, and I’m ready to put those plans into action. Yes! Until then, thanks for reading. And I hope you’ll read the book, or at the very least buy it for a friend who needs it. We all know someone who does.

*Photo by Karyn Spencer

*Note: Please refresh the page if the gifs are loading too slowly!

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