Eaters Of Food: BEWARE

Let me begin this post by saying that I have no illusions about the cleanliness of the world outside my apartment (which is also dirty sometimes). I know that the food at the grocery store and the dishes at (some) restaurants and the bathrooms at (most) rest stops are almost certainly covered in something I wouldn’t want to touch with gloves on, much less ingest. But with that said, there’s a level of ignorance we all assume when we shop for vegetables or ride the subway or make a pit stop at a gas station, just to get through it. You try not to think about who was there before you or what he/she/they did, and you go about your business.

After posting Finger Food (which I may have slightly misunderstood, but is kinda gross either way), Walmart I, Walmart II, and this, I started to doubt my ability to look at grocery carts the same way. After Walmart III, I never wanted to set foot inside a Walmart again OR use any of their facilities. And after Old Man Rafferty’s and Ruby Tuesday, I nearly threw up. So I understand that no one should expect cleanliness outside of their own home, believe me. This post’s submissions simply serve as a reminder for what we already know: Babies are barf machines, and a single picture is capable of scaring me into never eating parmesan cheese at a restaurant ever again.

Oh babies. They’re prone to barfing, sometimes whilst shopping for tomatoes. Thankfully some babies have moms like Tracy who really go the distance when their kid barfs on a stack of produce by strategically removing the tainted food and setting it aside. You know, for inspection, by the tomato inspectors, who come around like clockwork once each hour to check for vegetables that might be covered in vomit. She’s one smart cookie. And thoughtful, too! The way she posted about it on Facebook so that all her friends would know to be wary of grocery produce — that’s almost as good as telling a store supervisor!

Kids will be kids, right? The important thing is that people should know just what they’re getting into. You know how play areas at fast food restaurants and ball pits at places like Chuck E. Cheese are to be avoided due to germs and bodily fluids? Well, just apply that rule to pretty much everything else, and you’re all set!

Mmmmm, parmesan cheese. Raise your hand if you haven’t licked the top of the shaker at a restaurant before! Nothing beats hitting up a CiCi’s Pizza, grabbing two or fourteen slices of pizza, covering them with a firm shake of parmesan cheese and then licking the lid before diving in. YUM. Deffinately my preferred method of consumption. I totally see why Britt is in favor of her child experiencing this delicious treat. Maybe when he’s done he can add a little color to the restaurant wall!

Related: How (Not) To Act In a Restaurant

(submitted by Anonymous)

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