Olympics Marathon Round-Up!

I know I’ve been going kind of crazy with the round-ups lately, but bear with me here. I’ve received upwards of a zillion Olympics-related submissions, and people have been asking me whether I’d be posting any, so today I’m just going to post all of them! Well, all of the best ones, at least. Much like the Games themselves, there was some heavy competition, but these are the submissions that stood out to me as most representative of what the Olympics mean to parents on social media. Here are 4 ways the Games of the XXX Olympiad have influenced status updates on Facebook:

1. Olympic Analogies

Can any event be turned into an analogy for parenthood? According to these submissions, the answer is a resounding YES! 

Until last Friday, this “new sport” was simply called “cleaning up after your baby,” but post-opening ceremony, it turned into a game called Mommyball, which is probably the dumbest name for a fake event ever. Sorry, parents, but just because the Olympics are on doesn’t mean you can regale your friends with poop stories in repackaged “Games” format. You’re still just telling a story about poop.

 

Yay, breastfeeding mamas! Go for the gold! LIQUID GOLDYou ladies are freakin’ CHAMPS and you all deserve medals! Also: lawn mowing

Too cute. If only Rebecca would elaborate on this concept and post additional updates that correspond to these events.

Ha ha ha, of course Rebecca’s little man is loading up on carbs in preparation for his events! That stinker needs all the energy and nutrients he can get for the Looking Cute in the Inflatable Dragon Pool competition!

Okay, now, for real, Rebecca. We get it. You’re excited about the Olympics. You’re Super Mom and your baby is an Olympiad in some made-up events. Your updates are adorable and timely, and your cupcakes are colorful and delicious. You can stop now.

2. Olympic Signs

Whoa. Talk about a kOiNcIdEnCe! Paul McCartney singing “Hey Jude” at the opening ceremony? Who could’ve predicted that?! The man could’ve sung anything, but he chose to sing a song about baby Jude! The Universe is so crazy sometimes. 

3. Olympic Underwear

Kelly went from relaying a mostly harmless, somewhat funny kid quote to joking about moms being incontinent. Sounds like she should start a new Queen Queefers chapter!

4. Olympic Complaints

A lot of parents are deeply upset by the commercials being shown during the Olympic Games, and they apparently have no way of controlling the volume or switching the channel during broadcast breaks. Doesn’t NBC or its affiliates ever think of the children???

Lay off Suzy’s favorite show, Shirley. You can badmouth the commercials all you want, but that doesn’t mean the show shouldn’t exist. It is a GREAT Show! What are you, some kind of police procedural fantasy television drama series hater?!

NBC has failed on many fronts so far during Olympics coverage, but for parents, the commercials for Grimm are the last straw. NBC should NOT be promoting its network shows; it should be showing commercials acceptable for children, like this adorable Teddy Ruxpin spot from the ’80s. Children can’t handle scary things, and they shouldn’t be expected to. The Olympic Games are about bringing people together, not tearing families apart. You can quote me on that!

Parallel bars accident animated emoticon 

(submitted by Anonymous)

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