Post-Holiday Blues Jacking

How did the holidays treat you? Good? Well, not if you’re Laura! Her kids are delinquents who spent the holidays in jail. And really, I would be sympathetic, except for three little words: Count your blessings.

Count your blessings is one of those expressions that’s like a nice way of saying, “Fuck you.” It sounds sincere, but it’s not. At least, not in this context, since Laura’s basically telling Yaponcha and Rob to suck it up and be glad they’re not her, which is kind of awkward and weird and unfair. I do feel for her, as I’m sure it sucks to have kids in the slammer, but I also think maybe she should just be quiet. She’s got her health, right? She’s got a roof over her head? Focus on the positive! Count all those blessings!

Seriously, it just sounds rude.

(submitted by Anonymous)