Misty Fluid-Covered Memories

This week on Mommyish, I talk about parents who take a trip down memory lane - AKA childbirth - every time their kid celebrates a birthday (or, in some cases, a weekly/monthly “birthday”). This is a full-on trend born out of the Facebook format. Taking a trip down memory lane didn’t exist back when pagers and AIM were the common ways to communicate “digitally” with friends. No one changed their AIM status or sent out a “mass page” every hour to publicly reflect on the year(s)-old birth of their child. I also doubt anyone ever sent out a, “Guess what? Today is my baby’s 6-month birthday!” page, but I wouldn’t know for sure since I was in high school at the time. (If anyone ever used a pager as a baby journal, please correct me on this.)

For whatever reason, some parents aren’t satisfied with writing a simple, “Happy 4th birthday, Braeden!" on their wall and moving along with their day. They must include some other detail - or many other details - in order to sufficiently express their emotions about the day. It’s a little off-putting, not to mention obsessive, and today’s blog posts are all about showcasing this weird-but-telling phenomenon.

1. The Week-Long Teaser

This person knows that multiple updates about a baby’s birthday over the course of a single day are obnoxious. Which is why she spaces them out over the course of a whole week! It’s much more practical, and people can not look forward to a new update each day. 

2. Monthly Birthdays

Thank you, Chris, for saying what most people would be afraid to say to the type of person who wishes her son a happy birthday every quarter. You’re one ballsy dude.

3. The Play-By-Play

I appreciate Adita’s keeping that minute-by-minute labor report off of Facebook, but I hope she realizes that her children would be cool with a quick synopsis. Once you get into details about your dilated vagina, the kids start losing interest.

4. Story Hour

Holy placenta on a cracker, M. is on a roll! This birth story may have occurred three years ago, but that doesn’t make it any less specialor relevant now. M. is every bit as excited, joyful, and yes, slightly nervous about re-telling the story of her precious baby GIRL. What a surprise she was! Each year people get to relive that surprise. :)

5. TMI

"…tearing thru my vjayjay." This mom had good intentions when she used that phrasing. You know she did. 

Head over to Mommyish to read my column and experience the joys (and in one case, regret) of five other kids’ birthdays, plus the The C-Section Birthday Song!

(submitted by Anonymous)

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