Please allow me to formally invite you to the inaugural Birthday Week on STFUP!
Last year, I posted a series of birthdayjacking submissions on my birthday, April 30th (also known in hip circles as the day Hitler killed himself), but this year, since I’m turning 30 on the 30th and that shit will never, ever happen again, I’m dedicating a whole WEEK to birthday posts. I’ve been compiling, editing, and SMFH at birthday submissions all year long, and I think you’ll enjoy the variety and cross-section of content, not to mention the extreme insanity achieved by a large handful of parents.
I’ll warn you that this week’s posts achieve “epic” levels of ridiculousness (as opposed to disgust). We’re talking Strollergate and Moose and Zee levels here, folks. Not every post is going to feature a lot of commentary, because they just don’t need it. Why accent all of the crazy with commentary when I could let it shine like the glow of a candle on a newborn’s birthday cake? Some parents have a lot to say about their children’s birthdays, and I don’t want to detract from the significance of their baby’s special day. After all, what’s more important than the celebration of life? Nothing!
So help me rejoice in Birthday Week starting today until my own birthday next week. Feel free to wear a party hat and palm tree sunglasses. Have a cocktail. It’s a party!