Whining and Moaning “Baby Haters”

Like any astute rapper or lyricist, Laryssa knows an opportunity to break some shit down when she sees one. And I, for one, am grateful, since her sanctimonious insights just make my job that much easier. Even David, a friend of Laryssa’s, calls bullshit on her rant and isn’t afraid to add that he’s insulted by her generalizations and overly dramatic (and wrong) assessments of her Facebook friends. 

This is one of those times that hormones don’t really get a say; despite Laryssa’s overwhelming love and devotion to her child, her rant is a calculated “revenge post” against any and all of her friends without kids (because as far as she’s concerned, they’re just Starbucks-guzzling, time-wasting, and profile picture-hating complainers who don’t do anything of importance anyway). In fact, this is the first time I’ve received the exact same submission from three separate people, all of whom know Laryssa but none of whom know each other. Clearly she made quite an impression! 

But with that said, let’s not put this all on the mothers. I know the category is called "Sanctimommy" and the majority of the posts are written by women, but dudes are out there stinkin’ up Facebook with similar updates. Like this one:

Hehehehe, Cory is one PROUD PARENT. I love the way he transitions from “people” to “babyhaters” to “[women] who cat can’t find a dude to get [them] pregnant.” Yes, that’s it, Cory. Keep telling yourself that it’s the women who have the “problem,” and that the “problem” is rooted in not being “hug” [sic] enough. You’re making a really convincing argument there, what with the condescension and the misspellings and the lack of perspective. You may be a “proud parent,” but you’re one hell of a douchebag. Dam straight. Oh, and Katie? Don’t encourage Cory just because you like plastering baby pictures on Facebook. It’s time to rep for the ladies. Hoes over bros.

Related: My Sympathy LevelCenter Of The Universe and Wait ‘Til You Have Kids

(submitted by Anonymous)

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