The literary devices being employed by Green are upsetting me. From the “poop soup” rhyme to the ham hock analogy to the “daily special”-style recipe, I fear the kid-related updates that Green is capable of writing. What’s next? A lullaby about floaters sung to the tune of ‘Day Is Done’? A Mother Goose nursery rhyme about rubber duckies drowning in feces? I’m not sure I can handle it.

But yet again, I ask the question, “What’s worse?” What’s worse, everyone: a description of a giant bowl of human poop soup, or a photo of the poop minus the soup (and subsequent recipe)? 

On the one hand, this picture is so disgusting, I may have just adopted a fear of bathing. But on the other, I have to say that my gag reflex is severely put to the test by both submissions. I’m not a fan of Green’s flippant disregard of Purple’s plea in Poop Soup, and in a way her his attitude is worse than Kimberly’s failed attempt at humor. Still, Kimberly is the one who had the bright idea to snap a photo of her kid’s bathtime shitfest and post it online for all to see. Maybe I just need to make a proper score card to keep track of these offenders and their crimes against their friends humanity to know how they rank. After all, March Madness is just around the corner. 

Related: Fright Fest - Instagram Edition and The Booze Cruiser 

(submitted by Anonymous)

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