Valentine’s Day 2012: Poop Edition

What is it about holidays and poop that go hand-in-hand? Around Christmas, there are "Christmas poos" and "lumps of coal." Around St. Patrick’s Day there are "green poops,” and around Valentine’s Day there are disgusting jokes about "chocolate." 

I don’t know why some parents find this all so hysterical. Or rather, I don’t know why the parents who find it all so hysterical can’t just EMAIL their (soon-to-be-ex-) friends this information or blog about it on a personal page. For whatever reason, that’s not what holiday poop is about. The information is utterly useless if it’s not shared among friends. And the more people who share in the information (willingly or not), the better! 

This year is no exception. Like a fine wine and a great meal, Valentine’s Day and poop have been paired up yet again by a few parents who either don’t know any better or don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. Some people don’t even care about the basic spelling of plural nouns so long as the message gets across:

One-Two-THREE poopys! NOPE, not poopies. They are POOPYS! And Caila is one happy woman. I’m actually a little surprised she didn’t type “boy’s.”

Then again, what’s worse: spelling the plural of “poopy” as “poopys,” or doing this:

Photo - CHECK. (Thank god it’s small and blurry.)

One of the most irritating words ever to exist, “dipe” - CHECK

Correlating Valentine’s Day with a (festive?) diaper - CHECK

Audrey’s hitting all the marks

Ah, the evolution of the Valentine. In grade school it’s a cheap piece of paper featuring a popular cartoon character. In high school it’s a stuffed animal that sings and a bottle of Boone’s Farm. In college and/or marriage it’s jewelry and a vibrator. And in parenthood it’s shit in a toilet. We’ve come a long way, baby!

(submitted by Anonymous)

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