This submission had me at “Being psychic.” There’s a certain adolescent satisfaction one gets from saying, “What am I, psychic?!!!” that must have inspired Rachel’s phrasing, and it makes her sound all the more ridiculous. I’m surprised she didn’t write her rant in the third person. That’s the only thing missing from this Tale Of Mascot Shunning. Well, that and more quips from crazy old Sharon. I highly recommend reading her “snapped their heads off” line aloud and pausing for dramatic effect on the “maybe…JUST MAYBE” part. How did she even come up with the bit about “sand down their necks”? Is she just a badass with insults or is she the wife of a wiseguy? I’m going to go with both.
Poor Rachel, though. She will never take the hint. Yes, sometimes Billy is adorable. Sometimes he’s a crawling, babbling prince among women’s group. But other times, maybe he could be the mascot of a nearby park with a babysitter? Or the mascot of any place other than women’s group? The group is *technically* for women, after all, and while it sounds like it’s usually pretty kid-friendly, maybe the unspoken (or half-spoken) rule is that it’s kid-friendly most of the time rather than all of the time. And if that is the case, is it really such a bad thing? Yes, kids are a part of our community, but that doesn’t mean they can also be mascots of women’s group. Especially since everyone knows that tampons, Barbie and Cloris Leachman already share that role nationwide. Does Rachel think they’re going to replace those icons with Billy? Please.
(submitted by Anonymous)
PS: Check out an interview I did on the Washington Post blog On Parenting right here!
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