You know what they say: When life hands you lemons, make blood lemonade! Beat the shit out of those loud, obnoxious, several-years-old lemons till they’re squeezed down to a bloody pulp. Then pass around Dixie cups for others to share in your hard work. Because life is about making sure we get what we want.
It’s no matter that M.’s baby is also going to one day sit at a lemonade stand and annoy the crap out of everyone who passes by. That’s entirely irrelevant until the baby actually IS that age. Right now, the baby is a tiny being who needs to sleep, and the kids outside are making a ruckus, and if they don’t knock it off then M. will be forced to go outside and beat them the f*%k down. End of story!!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!
(submitted by Anonymous)